As a married, bisexual woman I find it kinda frustrating that straight girls will make out at the bar for attention or free drinks. I waitress at a night club and I see it alot! I think that being bisexual is hard enough without ppl drawing negative attention to the subject. Most people have no idea that Im into girls, simply because I dont feel the need to make everyone around me aware of my sex life. Unless, of course, I'm at Sin or other 'lifestyle' parties ;)
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bisexuality
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on
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Public: Anyone can view. anyone else find being "bi" to becoming a trend amoung youngsters these days? it's getting kinda annoying..... ??)
*continues to listen to rasputina and faints because they are so beautiful*
I agree with you,Lexy.
See, i'm bi, but not in the way you think. I believe that choosing one gender
over the other cuts down your chances of finding your soul mate by half.
And by the way, I do like both genders!
And I've been like this for a LONG time.
The people out there who do it just 'cause it's "in" really tick me off!
I could go on, but just think this will do.(for now)
I agree with with both of you as well. I too have lived the 'bi' lifestyle for all of my life. For me, its all about the person, not what they have or don't have between their legs. I also agree with your statement about people who do it just because its 'in'. To me, that is just an act of indecisiveness and someone looking for overall acceptance.
I have found that my heart takes me where it wants to go and sometimes that is with another man, and sometimes that has been with a woman. There are qualities of dating both sides that are good and bad.
For me too, it was a huge struggle coming to terms with my sexuality as I come from an ever-so redneck biker family (hells-angels anyone? LOL) full of MANLY men and...well...easy girls. You could just imagine being the only gay person in a family like that!!!!
Now that the years have passed I will fully admit that I am more comfortable with the same sex and I do go by the moniker and identify myself as 'GAY''. However, I still haven't, nor will I ever rule out the possibility of finding that ultimate opposite sex partner.
To me, dealing in a relationship with another man has always been easier because if and when shit hits the fan, you talk/fight it out and its done, end of story. I can honestly say that has never been the case with relationships with women. Even when you think its done and clear, it always bites you in the butt later on. Women, on he other hand, have always made better friends with me and all my best-friends ever are women.
Bottom line is there is two sides of the coin no matter what situation your heart finds you in and as long as you are truly being honest with yourself and those you pick as partners, it can be, and usually is, a beautiful situation as the only one in life that can make you happy is you.
I guess thats it.
--Jezzen Haight
I agree with you,Lexy.
See, i'm bi, but not in the way you think. I believe that choosing one gender
over the other cuts down your chances of finding your soul mate by half.
And by the way, I do like both genders!
And I've been like this for a LONG time.
The people out there who do it just 'cause it's "in" really tick me off!
I could go on, but just think this will do.(for now)
When I was fourteen/fifteen I was in a relationship with a girl which lasted a year and a half.
At the time, we thought that we'd get our asses kicked if anyone found out.
Not 6 months after we broke our relationship off, being with girls was the new thing. At every party we attended, girls kissed girls, guys cheered... Girls and guys paired off in hetero couples and the night progressed as normal.
It is annoying when people do things solely for attention, and that this feeds the stereotype and double standard that girls being gay is cute, whereas guys being gay is not.
However, if anything is positive about this, it is that it shows people moving towards accepting othe rpeople's lifestyles. Even if to make that happen, we have to bastardise those things to make them more appealling?
maybe for girls being bisexual seems a little bit easier, and i generally see the girls who says that they are bi - i see this more than boys who mentions that - ... and also i have to say being bi to be more goth doesnt make sense at all, cus as a culture maybe we can say bisexuality is a glam rock culture more than goth culture... being cool or trying to seem cool, yea many poser young kiddies do this, but actually how can sexuel referances be a way to seem cool? unfortunately it can be, cus there are lots of girls who likes the bands like placebo or HIM etc. like the bi or gay boys as an intance. it s stupid but true.it s all about main stream for the wannebes, posers or pretenders.
but all i have to ask, how can a man get laid with a man just to be cool?
this generation is full of crap and lie...
As a practicing bisexual who just stepped out of high school (finally finished on Thursday in fact! Yeay!) I can agree with the trend of bisexuality becoming more popular. While we are a much more sexuality accepting society today than say ten years ago, it is still a fad amoung many in the pre-college/university/technical institution groups. As a very unpopular kid in school (for being different) it was quite interesting watching the cortship and heirarchy dances between the different social circles. More and more so, bisexuality was used as a TOOL to grain popularity, a higher standing with the boys (who thought it was hot and would want you... ooooo XP). While some of these young ladies end up being bisexual or even lesbians in the long run, most do not, as it is just a tool to them. And while bisexuality is accepted for women (because it makes the guys hot) it is not for guys. This double standard exists all around the world. It's stupid, but it still exists. Two men together seems to imtimidate more people than two women do, and while homosexuality and bisexuality is generally far more accepted nowadays than in years past, it is still fought against daily. As far as school goes, I think the best expression anybody could give when asked what their sexual preference is should say, "Experimenting." If asked to elaborate on it, just say, "I am not sure what I like yet, and am trying or will try things that interest me and scare me, because who knows what I'll like until I try it, some things I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, but others intrigue me. I'm not going to elaborate further, as that would be a waste of both your time and mine, but needless to say, I'm still on the fence (or mugwumping)." Maybe in different words though, most kids these days (I guess including myself!) don't talk like this. :P
As for the different social circles, as a rule of thumb, most students pre-post secondary as not very accepting and tolerate little difference. Should you decide to be open about being different, do so at your own risk. It will hurt, but it will also make you stronger. I think I turned out fairly well considering I spent most of my time growing up just trying to be myself, which was not what everybody else wanted. If I wanted to be like everybody else, I would join the army.
I don't know quite what this has to do with bisexuality, but whatever...
In reply, Kuundog, I believe the male fascination with lesbians/bisexual women in sexual situations comes from the fact that men are more visual than women (especially when it comes to what turns them on) and seeing not one but two women together involved in a sexual act is fascinating and turns men on even more than just one woman, if that makes sense. There is also an air of the forbidden around true lesbians, an aspect of them being "hard to get" because, since they are gay, they only want other women, not men, and that makes the hunt that much more difficult.
That said, I think that women have a similar fascination, in some cases, with trying to "turn" gay men straight, thinking that they have something special that will change them somehow. For women I think that it's more about themselves then the men, more about trying to prove that they are somehow more spectacular than every other woman and can make a gay man love her.
There are acceptions to the rule, women who find two men engaged in sexual acts attractive and sensual, but I think those women are quite rare for the most part.
pplz who flant their sexuallity are jsut doing it for attention.
...or dates. With the social stigma attached there is more than just the usual risk of rejection attached in approaching someone. Conversely a gay or lesbian person who really isn't interesting in someone of the opposite sex hitting on them saves themself from the issue of having come up with ways to turn away unwanted advances. Someone who is out either avoids the problem in the first place or has the option of simply saying "I'm gay" to someone who doesn't know them.
This "Gay Silence Day" is rather clever, actually. On one level it allows people to come out without quietly without having to explain the crap out of it to nitwits that will ask questions like "Why are you gay?" (which while it is a really ignorant question, still gets asked). Plus it really "speaks" volumes about being an invisible minority. Those in the closet for whatever reason are there because they feel they *have* to remain silent about a fundamental aspect of their personality. Imagine how soul-crushing that must be. To someone that is genuinely *not* heterosexual and not just posing, an event like this could be very meaningful. Gender identity and sexual attraction are two different things and by no means black and white matters, nor are they ultimately a matter of choice. Certainly a lot of people chose to experiment, but the experimentation in the end is just a means of figuring out where on the scale of things their real "hard wiring" is.
I totally agree people in my school right now or in this mindless state about pplz sexuallity. Iike today April 13 they have this thing called " Gay Silence Day" were they walk around with these stickers on their shirts saying they are gay and poud of it. And they are not allowed to talk because they believe the silence off their voices will cause pplz to listen to their hearts and to finally accepts them. Which I think is a complete load of shit pplz will always have a issue and i think that pplz who flant their sexuallity are jsut doing it for attention.
You obviously didn't do it right... Last time I punched someone in the head was at work. A guy I was working with, Brandon, made some obscure comment about how I didn't have girl nipples so I punched him in the face and then denied it. I didn't get in any trouble at all. I am just better at hitting people than you, Atratus.
Thanks! ^__^ Now as for my advice... punch those people in the head. Right in the head. Trust me, I know what I am doing.
Heh, last time I did something like that it nearly got me kicked out of college. Not that the guy didn't deserve it, but walking into a class that was in session, boxing a guy in the ear, and then knocking the instructor on his ass for trying to stop me from leaving was not a particularly well-thought out plan.
lol, now I'm confused! I'll defend my self by saying that I knew what i meant when I origionally replyed. What I was trying to get at was that a lot of the people I knew, if only by association, thought that being bi or gay was the goth thing to do, but continued to up hold these double standards.
Ok, so now that I think I've clarified, I'm realising how far off my orrigional postes were :B
It was the group who dressed in black and made scenes that did what? I am sorry, but I honestly don't understand the connection you are making here, and it is really frustrating me. You keep repeating that you "mean the same kids", but I don't know what that means. >.< Ugh...
I meant the same kids, I did a lot of stuff that took me to different schools and in every school in my zone, it was the group who dressed in black and made scenes. I'm not so much coming to conclusions as stating my observations. Sorry if i made it seem as though I was drawing a conclusion.
I understand that, Puck, but how do you draw the connection between people who accept female sexual experimentation and young "goths"? Are you saying that the same people who think it's ok for two girls to have a sexual relationship but not two guys are the people who "dress in black, make massive scenes telling people how goth they are and cut their wrists 'cos life is so hard"? I am confused by how you came to this conclusion.
Puck, I agree about the double standard. There wasn't many people in my school who were openly bisexual or homosexual, since I went to a private Christian school, but my brother goes to public school and says that it is a huge problem there.
As for the second part of your post... I am really confused what you mean that "these are the same kids". It would really help if you could clarify yourself a bit.
The bigest problem i found in school was a total double standard. Every one was very accepting of female homo/bisexuality, but when it came to guys, it was totaly the opposit. My best friend is gay, and was abused a lot after admiting he was attracted to men, by the same people who preached how we should all be fare to them because they like girls, and it's ok for girls to like girls. Somehow to them it wasn't ok for guys to like guys. I don't know if any one else has noticed this double standard, but thats how it was where I went to school.
Trixi, you mentioned the Goth label, these are the same kids that perpetuate that image, they dress in black, make massive scenes telling people how goth they are and cut their wrists 'cos life is so hard. All of this is part of growing up and finding one's place, as, i think, some one has already mentioned, but it becomes a problem when these 'kids' become convinced that it's what they really are and start policing the situation them selves( Has any one else had a 14 year old come up to them say "Oh, you don't listen to Manson, you don't even like Slipknot, how can youcall your self a goth? Your just a freak!") though, this is just very annoying.
I hope this makes sense to those reading it, rather than looking like just a random rant. It's as intelligent as i get!
Keep in mind, Che-Gerrit, that many of the people who you say are "pretending to be bi[sexual] to appear cool" are going through a transition period in their lives where they are trying to figure out who they are as people, and that includes their sexuality.
One of my best friends is physically attracted to women, but she would never engage in any sort of physical relationship with one because her interest in other women does not expand outside of her own head.
Yes, there are probably people who say that they are bisexual to get attention, and there are probably also people who think they are, but when confronted with the opportunity to explore that, something stops them, be it the realization that they are not attracted to the same sex in that way, or their own insecurities about who they are.
Why not stop worrying about the sexual label that people put on themselves, and try and figure out who they are as human beings? You might find that if you stop judging people by the label attatched to them and start getting to know them first, you will stop getting into frustrating situations like the ones you mentioned. Keep in mind that what I just described is what most of us wish people would do rather than judging us on the label "goth".
Not everyone is officially bisexual. As androgynous or effeminate as I may appear to be at times, I for one am very much hetero. That being said, I dont hold anything against those with a different sexual preference than my own. I feel obliged to include that because people often assume that when one asserts they are heterosexual they also suffer from some level of homophobia.
Cheers,
Swoop
OK, I do NOT think everybody is bisexual. It's just that a hell lot of people say they are, but if you approach them, they make a run for it. That is what ticks me off... pretending to be bi to appear cool...
Not everyone is officially bisexual. As androgynous or effeminate as I may appear to be at times, I for one am very much hetero. That being said, I dont hold anything against those with a different sexual preference than my own. I feel obliged to include that because people often assume that when one asserts they are heterosexual they also suffer from some level of homophobia.
Cheers,
Swoop
It kind of annoys the hell out off me that everyone is officially bisexual, but if I actually try to pick up a guy, they start avoiding me. Maybe it is because I'm rather not atractive, but anyway... Stupid "I'm more tolerant than thou"-attitude.
Rednecks at heart... bah.
I would have to agree with many points here, especially Darklings. Sexuality is only one aspect of life, but it is a dominating force that dictates how so many of the human population will live thier lives in a thousand fundamental ways (such as children, for example). I honestly don't really think that its something that sould be called a 'trend' or 'people trying to be cool' as I find it is simply too generalizable a term, and just another way of stereotyping a majority. Overall, I personally agree with the fact that sexual exploration, or personal, spiritual, and even cultural exploration of all types and forms -has- become increasingly socially acceptable o the point that it is encouraged by the media. Media and movies are not just feeding the masses what they should want, they give the public what they demand as well - how else do they stay popular? Its a two-way cycle that can be argued dozens of ways, but thats my take on it. The reforms in governmental, judicial, economical and even the shift from the nuclear family to the transportational family unit that has risen from the change in marriage lifespans and the ability to communicate over vast distances all are indicators along the same path: an increasing diversity of people coupled with a lack of enforced orthodox religeon has created an outspoken nature in many lifestyles in the Western communities. There are many, many things wrong with Western society, but there has been an increasing liberty of self-exploration that has been encouraged and should definately not be taken for granted. 'Cool' or not 'Popular' or not, (for don't they (historical roots aside :) ) add up to the same sum?) it makes me glad that issues like this are being explored rathar than ostracized, especially by a society at large because for me it increases hope for the greater acceptance of human nature, and again the increasing equality of minoirty and majority groups. Likewise as a turn over of traditional gender roles, theconsequences of this movement and the broader perspective of life it encourages could fundamentally change so many things about Western lifestyle. I'm just interested to see how it all plays out.
The word "cool" always amuses me in this sort of context, i.e. "wanting to be be cool."
The term is really short for "cool on life" - basically apathetic, or beaten by life (the root of "beat" as it applies to "beatniks", the Beat Generation were definitely cool). Wanting to be cool in order to fit in is antithetical to actually being cool.
Trying to "be cool" has been the target of many a generation. Probably goes back farther than the term "be cool." Hopefully it's all part of the road to becoming comfortable in your own skin. Social acceptance is one thing, but if you're not comfortable with who you are, it's all a sham.
Swoopguy
The problem with my generation ( i think) Is Almost EVERYBODY strives to be "Cool" in some way or another, Even some of those people that say they are goth and say they are bisexual are striving to be cool in the "[color=red]Goth world", even though thats not the case, i think, yes you should be able to do what you want, but dont think that being bisexual is a way to being a better goth then others, when actually its almost been turned into a stereotype
Yeah, but it's part of discovering your own sexuality. Between the ages of about 14-18 a lot of people are curious and want to explore. It's part of defining who you are inside. That was going on when I was that age (there were lots of girls "turning bisexual" in junior high, including me, only for 95% of them it didn't stick), and I assume it will always happen. Some researchers say we are all bisexual, we just repress it. Well, I don't know about that, but I think we're all naturally a bit bi-curious even if we don't practice it, or spend any great deal of time pondering it.
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I think that people in our generation are being raised in a society that demands tolerance of everything, and in that, they think that being bisexual is making a big stand, showing how tolerant and open-minded they are. I don't think that a person's sexuality should ever be a factor in how "cool" they are, and I think that people that make a huge deal about it are just doing it for show.
I hope you don't mind overmuch if I use a Biblical reference here, but it reminds me of the Pharisees who only prayed, fasted and whatever in public so they could show how righteous and holy they were.
We're becoming a society filled with face-value people who think that as long as everyone sees what is desirable and good on the outside, it doesn't matter what they are underneath. Why not throw away our masks and labels and just be satisfied with being human?
everyone is bi, those who can't except it end up venting thier repressed sexual energy in destructive ways like that redneck who beats his wife while memories of his father refering negativly to any sexuality other than the truely non existent "hetero" with words like queer and fag meanwhile deep down he has a crush on the mailman or even his own kids, bi-sexuallity is not a fad and the more it gets repressed with comments like those^, the more your going to see ted bundys and wayne gacys in the world, wake up, open your mind, get love where and when you can, and vent your hatred on yourself.