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Why do we have to "look good" together?

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Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on
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I have never been one to post a question about relationships and such before, however, the time has come for me to get feed back on an idea which has been recently rearing its ugly head in my direction. Basically,  I think if two ppl decide to get together, it should be out of the sheer enjoyment of each other, physically, emotionally... whatever tickles your fancy. Yet, over the last few weeks, upon telling any friend of mine that I'm interested in a gentleman, I have been told that it seems odd because they couldn't possibly see Mr. X with a "goth" that looks like scary spice. How perplexing...

So I was wondering if anyone else had the problem of being judged as a potential partner only on the bases of how well you and Mr(s). X would look in a picture together.

I read in a Psychology book somewhere that it was shown through studies that people who were similar in levels of attractiveness had better, fuller and more meaningful relationships. I am assuming this is because it reduces some common insecurities found in couples.

Thats the only thing I can see as being why two people wouldn't "look good together", other than that, just follow your gut. If hes worth it and you guys have enough common ground: I say why not? He could be your soul-mate in disguise. But you'll never know anything till you try!

I can't say I've ever been judged in that manner when it comes to relationships. But I have had friends say "I can't picture you and ms. X working out".

I think your friends are always going to find some reason why you and your interest aren't going to work. Some sort of natural resistance to new things, I suppose. Give them time and I'm sure they'll come around.

It's not what you two look like together. it's how you act together that's far more important. If things are going well, your friends will get over the appearance thing and they'll come around.

(unless of course the guy is a total jerk or something...)

Speaking from my experience...  Very few, if any, of my ex-girlfriends could be easily stamped with the label of "Gothic."  Oddly enough, all of them have been artists of some type, which tends to add credence to the local goth/art connection, but the only dark thing they seemed to embrace  was me. :)  Most of them were bright, cheery looking girls who would wear sun dresses and floral prints.  Of these relationships, the most successful ones weren't based on our mutual aesthetic, but rather our common interests.  Or at least that's what I like to think it was. :)

Wishing you luck,

Swoopguy