my girlfriend

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I have a problem with my current relationship.

The relationship itself is great. I love my g/f, she loves me, everything is well.

Except that it does not have got much of a future, if you look at it sensibly.

She is from the US and lives here in Germany illegally. She came here with a tourist- visum, which expired a year ago.

The risk of being caught is not that high, but she does not have real future here.

There is basicly no hope for her to immigrate legally and without proper papers, she cannot find any real work. At the moment she works for a friend of her's. Since she of course does not have a contract, she is depending on him. Just as she depends on the goodwill of several people.

Since she is a very independant person, this bothers her greatly.

In the (not really so) long run, I see no other way than for her to return to the US, thus ending the relationship (I cannot move there for lack of money).

On the other hand she refuses to plan leaving Berlin (and me), while she of course recongnizes the need for her to go back.

Of course I do not want to lose her, but in my eyes there isn't really a choice lest she wants to completely ruin her life.

As I see it, I love her and therefore have to let her go. I have no clue though, how to get her to that point without wrecking both relationship and friendship.

I've never believed in that 'if you love a person, let them go' crap. On the contrary, I believe in fighting for what you want until the last breath. If you love her, and I mean really, truly would do anything for her, then you and her can both find a way to be together. From my own experience and others if you want something bad enough no one can keep it from you, and what could you want more than her?

Best of luck.

Does she have British or Irish ancestry? If she has one grandparent from Great Britian or Ireland she has an entitlement to British or Irish citizenship, and with that can live and work in Germany because of the EU. Other countries might have similar rules. Otherwise you may want to look into extended work-visa or student-visa programmes. If she is under 28 there are a variety of these that have terms of six months to a year.

Depending on how serious this relationship is, marriage may also be an option.

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